Message from Jonny Simpkins, March 20, 2001

I am sitting here tonight reading such really touching words and letters from a lot of good people that have come in contact with my brother Tim. I cannot express the feelings that I get each day from these words. I pull out the past videos that have my brother on them, laughing, jet skiing and having fun with us, his family. These videos are hard to watch, yet they give me vivid memories of my special brother. 

There isn't much time in the day that I'm not thinking about Tim and how he is fighting his pain. If only I could help. These words on this screen that I read from all of you, help me to fight this empty feeling that I feel most of the time. I keep asking why, why Tim? I keep trying to understand that we will all know why one day, when something happens to our loved ones. It does not help too much now though. I just keep saying that Tim is being called to Heaven to run "The Greatest Track Club" ever. In this I do find some comfort.

I have spent the past 11 days in Tallahassee staying with my brother. It has been so emotionally tough. I truly think it has been one of my toughest battles, yet nothing like my brothers. Tim has said and done some things that have made me so proud, yet Tim was not perfect in his life. Just like all of us. Tim liked to say "Smile a while, and while you smile, another smiles, and soon there are miles and miles of smiles." This was my brother making people smile and laugh, running through Tallahassee in costume. 

In some ways, I'm jealous of you guys in Tallahassee. You guys got to know my brother more than me in the past twenty years. Oh what I would do to turn back time. If I could turn back time a little, I would return his cards and letters that he always sent for every holiday, I would pick up the phone and just call him for no reason, other than to say "Hi." I would go to a few of his races and show my support. I would let him know that he has a brother in a little town called Davenport, that loves him. I would not be ashamed of saying it, speaking it or feeling it. If only I could turn back time. 

I feel empty now, a hollow spot in my heart that wants to make up for it, but I am starting to realize that I may be too late now. If only I could turn back time. I will never give up on a miracle. I pray and pray. Maybe other miracles have already happened. The miracle of strangers helping each other, the miracle of a family that has not been really close to now bond tightly together. 

My brother is holding on ever so closely now. He always talks with pride and dignity. He is leaving his baby brother with the greatest gift of all. Memories of knowing that my brother was a kind person, a person that made people laugh, a person that helped out anybody that he could, a person that tried to do his best at what he really loved, but realized like everybody else, he was not perfect. 

Thank you GWTC and Tallahassee for everything. You guys are the greatest! 

Jonny Simpkins

Write to Jonny at mxracer36@aol.com or you may call him at 863-424-8559.