OH, MY GOD
How did I do at USA Triathlon Age-Group World Qualifiers?
(Lake Placid New York, Saturday June 2)
http://www.lakeplacid.com/triathlon/
By Mary Jane Tappen
Well I placed 12th and although not something for the record books I am
pretty happy with it.
Here is my story:
Thursday still can't get my bike stem out to pack the bike. I leave the bike at
Joe's bike shop at 10:00, my flight leaves at 2:50, the bike shop doesn't
promise anything but will try. (For those of you who don't bike or run with me I
am a heavy corrosive sweater. My training buddy, Tony Guillen, and I have a
competition going on to see who can corrode the most bike parts in the shortest
amount of time. This is why the stem (where the handlebars are attached to the
bike) won't come out.)
At about 11:30 at work I get an "Official" email statement from
USAtriathlon that the Lake Placid Tri has become a Du due to cold water and
weather. OH, MY GOD. A duathlon is a completely different kind of race, one I
have not prepared for and would never choose to participate in unless paid big
bucks to do so. Soon after I get a voice mail message from Joe's. They have got
the stem out but want to know how to hell you fit this bike in this box? (Dah,
it was the same box the bike came in, these are bike shop people, give me a
break.) I return the call and explain how I do it.
I leave work at about 12 and go get the bike box. I am told it took three guys
to pull the stem out. (This information makes sense later). I get home, change
my race outfit stuff, leave the wet suit and cap on my bed since there is no
swim part, pack the car, and leave for the airport.
We leave Jenny's car (my 18 year old daughter) at the car shop (she mistakenly
landed on the top of a curb a few days prior and her car did not steer straight
and her engine light continues to go on). We finally get to the airport and a
guy with an attitude looks at me and then my box and asks, "What is
that?" A bike (dah). "That will be $75." OK, I knew this but it
still hurt after forking extra money to Joe's already.
Well I arrive in Tampa to find there has been a flight delay. I go directly to
the dorky people in blue uniforms and explain I have a connecting flight to
Burlington VT and am pretty sure there isn't another flight up there so put me
on an earlier flight. I get told the delay isn't that bad, they can fit me but
not my bike on the earlier flight, so don't worry stay on my delayed flight. An
hour and a half later I go and explain to the dorky lady in blue that I don't
think I'll make my connecting flight and she asks me why I didn't come up
sooner, they could have put me on a Delta flight. OH, MY GOD. In my most
pleasant voice but with my most threatening tone and look on my face I asked why
an hour and a half earlier wasn't soon enough? We argued long enough to clear
the immediate area of people and then she said she would get me a hotel room in
Newark. "What about my bike?" Oh, for a small fee they will keep it
for me in Newark, get on the plane and hope for the best. So, I was the last one
to board and of course had to pass by everyone who had listened to the argument
and find my seat in the back by a window and hit everyone I pass with my dorky
USA backpack.
I get to Newark at 9:10; my next flight is 9:15. I landed in big plane land and
the Burlington plane is in little plane land. I run to the next gate hoping the
plane hasn't gone only to find out it "Just left." OK, I explain to
dorky lady in blue number 2 that, "I need a hotel room and I need to find
my bike and luggage." "No, your delay was due to weather so you don't
get a hotel room." OH, MY GOD. 20 minutes later I head for the luggage area
with a hotel voucher and have been told to go to station E. (This dorky lady in
blue number 2 had no visible marks on her when I left.)
At the luggage help desk I am told I don't get my luggage back they take it
directly to my morning flight. I tell them I want to see my bike and I need my
luggage cuz I need clean clothes etc. I get handed a little personal care
package with a toothbrush, toothpaste, men's cologne, and a comb. I head to
station E. At station E I get corralled with all the other happy customers that
missed their flight to a wonderful Howard Johnson's. My room is conveniently
located by the bar and parking lot in the smoking section.
Next morning, I leave in my dorky USA sweat suit thing and no underwear, yippee,
and head back to my favorite airport. At 10 I get on a bus and ride about 1/2
mile to little airplane land to get on my plane. I walk directly passed the,
"No passengers beyond this point" sign and talk to the luggage guys
and ask if there is a bike box in the luggage area. They say yes so I agree to
get on the plane. I get to sit next to super dork who is so impressed with my
outfit that he asks me about triathlons the entire way. (Probably it was the no
underwear)
I get to Burlington at about 12, smash the bike box into the back of my sister's
VW and head to her house. She wants us all to have lunch before we leave for
Lake Placid. OH, MY GOD.
OK, at four I finally arrive at Lake Placid and my brother follows me to
registration. I ask about helmet numbers and am told not to worry our swim caps
will be numbered. "Our what?" "Swim caps, they put the swim back
in." OH, MY GOD.
I go directly to the next room and find an USAtriathlon guy and get my name on
the list of people with no wet suits. I am given the name of two women who might
lend me theirs after they swim in them. They have a 7:15 wave and I have an 8:10
wave. (A wave is what they call each group that starts together.) The USA guy
will run from the transition area (where bikes are racked) back to the swim area
to bring people in later waves wet suits. OH, MY GOD.
I try for the next two hours to find these women, calling their rooms, visiting
their hotels, in between driving the course and trying to calm down. I get back
to the hotel room to unpack the bike that must be racked by 8:00. The front
wheel does not rotate. OH, MY GOD.
At 7:00 I have walked back up the hill for the fourth time to the, "Still
need a wet suit meeting," my bike is at a shop, and my family is wandering
around trying to stay out of my way. Oh, did I forget to tell you, they added a
rolling out and back to the bike course so we would not go downhill the entire
first 10 miles and freeze. So, we go up and down first, then up, then down, then
up.
I am almost the last to get a suit but guess what. I have been loaned a brand
new Stealth, the first great thing so far. J (Stealth is a top of the line $400
triathlon wetsuit.) Oh, I forgot to tell you, the weather forecast is heavy rain
in the low 50s.
I go back to the bike shop. The guy had trued my wheel but then checked the
stem; it was completely stripped and was missing the seal. He had to repair it
and find extra parts. If he hadn't I would have eaten the pavement on the first
downhill turn. (I found him after the race, took his picture, and tipped him.)
I rack my bike about 7:45 and I have the best rack. OH, MY GOD!
I get back to my room and eat dinner. After eating I wear the wet suit around
the room for a little while. It is very cool. (Yes, add me to the super dork
list.)
The WHOLE family gets up and helps me get ready for my race. OH, MY GOD. My
mother offers to hand me coffee when I get out of the water. Hehe!
I get to the lake and refuse to touch the water. No one is talking except my
brother of course who is in love with Donna Smyers and reporting her every move
to me. (Donna Smyers is ranked number 1 in the country in my age group and has a
famous pro-triathlete sister.)
I take my shoes off way to early, 1/2 hour before my wave. I would have to say
if I made a mistake this was it. (OK, I don't want any comments about leaving
the wetsuit in Tallahassee.) At 8:05 women 40-49 enter the starting area. We all
slowly test the water. OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. I was very close to tears. It was
cold as hell. Even peeing in the wet suit wasn't enough to help.
So, the race…..
I had a very fast swim. I redefined swimming on top of the water. The bike was
hard as hell but good; the run was hard as hell but very good. For all that
happened I was very happy with my race. My family is quite disappointed with my
performance but what do they know. The course was cold, hilly, hilly, hilly, and
hilly. We lucked out with the weather; the heavy rain came over night before the
race. By the time I was running I was pulling all but my last layer off and
everything was quite warm with the exception of two very cold feet that thawed
about half way through the run.
The fast women showed and they were very strong. They had to beat me though to
place. I'll be back to keep them honest.
mjt
OH, MY GOD