Triathletes save livestock
by Triswami
8/15/01

In an unprecedented act of heroism 3 cyclists saved the life of a nubile billygoat late Tuesday evening. Cyclist Alvin Farrar and training partners/triathletes Ronnie Godwin, and a man known to locals only Cheesehead or Crash, freed the helpless animal from fence wire in which he had apparently becoming intangled while trying to feed on overgrown weeds on the other side of the fence.

Farrar said " His new horns acted almost like a toggle bolt, in that it allowed him to slide his head threw the small opening. But when he tried to remove his head, the horns became hooked on the uppermost wire". "As we were riding by we heard this blood curdling sound in what seemed to be an empty field. After we had riden a few hundred more yards, we realized it was a distressed animal. So we turned back to help, not understanding the peril that that might be in store."said Godwin.
"I ride this area often, and knew the empty field was a bit odd. Certainly I knew the noise was not a typical goat sound. I had only heard that sound one other time. That being at a bachelor party." stated Cheesehead. As it turned out, all the other goats had shyed away from the noise to the other side of the clearing. Leaving the poor adolescent goat to woller in fear and isolation. Apparently the owners were not around or just couldn't hear the poor kid. Godwin noted that night was falling and a big storm was "a-brewin'."

"It was going to be long night for him if we hadn't heard him and tried to help" "I would have heard that distressed cry in my sleep had we not done something" said Godwin.

Farrar noted "We had to jump this small ditch full of water from recent rains, and traverse 3 foot weeds to get him". "It would have really sucked if we had saved the goat and been bitten by a stray moccasin". Cheesehead had seen 3 moccs on that very road over the last few days. Probably as a result of the high waters in the ditches. "The other consideration was those damn mosquitos. Nothin' like a little West Nile to ruin your race season." said Cheesehead.

It took all 3 to manipulate the fence wire and keep clear of of the goat's bite. "He was very frightened and I don't think our bright colored spandex calmed him any. He tried to bite us a few times" said Cheesehead. Godwin noted "That sumbi' 'sgonna take my fingers off if we weren't careful. That would have really screwed up my Ironman swim split!!!"

After being freed the kid turned and high-tailed back to the other goats; being met about half way by, who the guys think was probably, "mom." With dark setting in and a huge thunderhead en route. The cyclists, themselves, high-tailed home. Godwin states "I re-injured my ribs saving the little guy, but I am going to race Ironman Canada on his behalf. Heck I might even don a pair of horns !!"

Farrar was seen welling up with tears on the return trip, and Cheeshead has vowed to have his name legally changed to "Goatcheesehead."

No one knows who slept better that night. The kid or the heroes.

-Triswami